24 November 2008

Do people really expect this to work anymore?

TELEPHONE:+226 78 82 57 54
Dear Friend,
 I am writing to seek your cooperation over this business proposal.
First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction; this is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day.
l have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction, Let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am MR UMAR HASSAN. a manager with the Bank Of Africa( BOA), Ouagadougou Burkina Faso, Africa .
I came to know you in my Private Search for a Reliable and Reputable Person to handle this Confidential Transaction, which involves the transfer of huge sum of Money to a Foreign Account requiring Maximum Confidence.
In my department, We discovered an abandoned sum of$15million USD(FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS.)Only, in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a plane crash that took place in Kenya , East Africa, the bank now expects a next of kin as beneficiary. Valuable efforts are being made by the Bank to get in touch with any of the Brumleys remaining family or relatives but all to no success. the Late DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY,a citizen of Atlanta , United States of America is a known Philantropist in, West Africa and the whole African continent
 Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because it cannot be released unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you via your foreign bank account as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and It is because of the perceived possibility of not being able to locate any of Late Brumleys s next kin (He died with his entire family members)
The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after seven years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund The request for your assistance and maximum co-operation as a foreign citizen to stand as the next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the deceased customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
The sharing of the fund are thus: 30% for you the account owner,60% for I and my  trusted colleagues and the remaining 10% for expenses for both parties. If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not make undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you.
Best regards,

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

25 October 2008


Proof that 90% of all scientific inquiry consists of someone getting bored, thinking "What if I do this, here?," and then trying it out.

09 October 2008

Fwd: From Rev.Jones Maxwell Harth (Urgent Matter)

Uh oh, if he's with the World Bank, I should probably pay attention.



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Rev. Father Jones Maxwell Harth <info@live.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 6, 2008 at 3:45 PM
Subject: From Rev.Jones Maxwell Harth (Urgent Matter)

I am Rev. Father Jones Maxwell Harth, a senior staff with the World Bank
fact finding & special duties office.I need your attehtion on an urgent
issue please write me back email:(rev.jones.maxwell121@live.com) call me
on phone: +44-704-572-0668

Matthew Trisler

02 September 2008

The best friendship $15 can buy

DSC_2501, originally uploaded by alexander.gordon.

I am now a lifetime member of Graceland, Too!

DSC_2547, originally uploaded by alexander.gordon.

as in "Graceland, Too!," not as in "hey, you're a lifetime member of Graceland?" Neat! Me too!

No, this is Graceland, Too, as in Paul McLeod's Holly Springs, Miss.-based shrine to Elvis. I'll explain more later.

Also, I'm thinking maybe I should buy a leather jacket.

14 August 2008

I have bad dreams.

Alone in Homewood, originally uploaded by Hryckowian.

I had a dream when I first fell asleep tonight. It was a bad dream. I'm not sure why it felt the way it did, but I can't shake it.

It wasn't a bad dream the way dreams about being chased by Nazis are bad; it wasn't a bad dream the way dreams about falling towards certain death are bad.

I just know that I woke up from the dream feeling depressed, feeling hopelessly, inexorably alone. Never mind the fact that Kerry had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder, with her arms around me.

Part of the problem is that she slept on, while my initial round of R.E.M. constituted a power nap, so while she shifted and dozed off, my loneliness was compounded by a very refreshed feeling.

I woke up well-rested and ready to conquer the day. Even if that meant conquering my loneliness. Alone. At least until she wakes back up.

18 July 2008


on sesame street!

The grin is infectious.

17 July 2008

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The most awesome rest stop EVER. at least by name.

05 June 2008

Wait, Twitter's down for what?

I hate that I'm addicted to Twitter. It's a good thing the site's free--it definitely wouldn't be worth the expense.

It's not the incessant downtime that bothers me. It's the complete lack of mastery over the English language.

03 June 2008

Dylan in Noblesville, originally uploaded by mutineersofindy.



Originally uploaded by The Spacebase

20 May 2008

I Think I Love Cats Now

Low Fidelity Cat Dream from impactist on Vimeo.

In other news, I'm mostly settled in Memphis. May start documenting the process shortly.

08 May 2008

Le Countdown

Kerry on Kerry, originally uploaded by The Spacebase.

Because of this woman, I (gladly) have only 8 days left as a resident Hoosier.

03 May 2008

It's Not Just Love; It's Life.

mix tapes, originally uploaded by newrambler.

I just finished a book that Kerry lent me shortly after we started dating. I had to put it down for most of the semester, 'cause I'm an English major. Putting down books to read books is what we do best. That and talk like pretentious Douchebags.

I may have officially graduated today. I'm not really sure; there's a bursar loan services hold on my Ball State account, and the bursar's office isn't open until Monday. I did figure out that I owed a quarter from a library fine. (I don't remember having anything overdue this semester--maybe a final good luck and goodbye from Erin? If not, then I owe her the good luck/goodbye.)

At any rate, I'm starting to mourn Muncie and I'm starting to feel anxious about moving to Memphis. So much so that I couldn't sleep last night. As I'd mentioned, I finished the book Kerry lent me, Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield.

The book tore my shit up. I want to meet Rob Sheffield. If I do, I will first punch him for making me cry like a baby. I will then hug him for making me cry like a baby. I will then have him sign the book for Kerry. Then we will probably trade mixtapes, and I'll hug him again, because I totally understand why the book made me cry.

It also made me laugh. Less like a baby, more like a toddler:

One night I had a bit of a revelation. I was up late, as usual, unable to sleep, drinking ginger ale and flipping channels, looking for something to soothe my nerves, the way a Discovery Channel panda forages for bamboo. This time I found something--a newsmagazine piece about a breaking news story in Milwaukee. I watched with awe and reverence. The story concerned a nacho dwarf. He was the most famous and successful nacho dwarf in Milwaukee--maybe the world. His job was walking around in a Mexican restaurant wearing an oversized sombrero with a brim full of tasty nachos. The crown of the sombrero held a cup of salsa. The nacho dwarf greeted the customers, shook hands, worked the room. He would invite everybody to sample the treats he had on his head. He was there to serve. He was there to honor the nacho-dwarf code.

Understandably, quite a few of his fellow dwarves felt this was a degrading and insulting gig. Steve Vento (for that was his name), a former car salesman (for that was his trade), disagreed. He proclaimed himself proud to be a nacho dwarf.But other dwarves complained angrily that he was perpetuating inhumane stereotypes and encouraging mistreatment of non-nacho dwarves. In fact, they were protesting the restaurant, demanding a boycott until the nacho dwarf was canned.

I watched this with intense fascination. They showed a clip from the Anthony Michael Hall movie Johnny Be Good, which apparently had a party scene that had inspired the whole nacho-dwarf thing. They showed the dwarf lawyer who was representing the protesters. And they showed the nacho dwarf himself, defending his profession. He implied that maybe the other dwarves were just a little jealous that they did not have the talent to make it as a nacho dwarf. They resented his success, so they were trying to drive a fellow dwarf out of work and into the gutter. Why, they were taking food right out of his mouth!

"We are not trying to take food out of Mr. Vento's mouth," said the lawyer. "We are merely trying to take it off his head."

And then, dear friends, at those words, a little light flickered in my mind. Some sort of divine revelation started to make itself clear before my eyes, and a voice began to articulate unto me the horrible truth: I needed to get out of the apartment more. No, I really needed to get out of the apartment more.

And that, dear friends, is the reason I love this book. Well, that and it expresses a lot of fears and hopes I have regarding marriage, and though Sheffield's taste is questionable, his love of music is undeniable and infectious.

Also there's a really great section on the varying types of mix tapes, but I don't want to blog a passage that long ever again.

02 May 2008


DSCN0891.JPG, originally uploaded by The Spacebase.

I'm a pretty lucky dude.

I'm a fan.

DSCN0874.JPG, originally uploaded by The Spacebase.

Also, there's one more photo here than days left until we live in the same place.

28 April 2008

A Belated Defense

On Friday, I went to a fiction reading/rock show at Village Green Records in Muncie.

I was standing outside the store when a car of what appeared to be frat boys drove past and shouted at us, "Hey, Punk Rock Faggots!"  Which was really hurtful.

I don't even particularly like punk rock.

Time for a Calling Out

Over the weekend, someone anonymously commented on a couple of my posts, with the same text in each comment:

Heard some of your music, "William." You've improved over the years.
-an old friend

I don't know who this is, though I would very much like to.  It'd probably be pretty good to catch up, if they are indeed an old friend.  (If you're reading this, you can find an email link at williamwolfe.net.)

I'd also just like to say that of course I've improved over the years.  I've worked pretty hard at becoming decent.

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Is this news? Seriously?

23 April 2008

Tales of Shame, and Also of Delight

Before I unleash upon you the beauty of the edited Charlie Rose clip from Boing Boing, I have something else to share.  Sad news.

That said, there's this!

22 April 2008

I want today over. Now. It's not that it's particularly bad, but i'm tired and need a minute or two for unadulter

This mobile text message is brought to you by AT&T

09 April 2008

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It's sad to realize that the Obama headquarters is the only storefront in this mall still open, save for the budget haircut place.

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I can taste it!

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Getting closer. Still at least another 20 minutes until i get to go home and maybe watch Top Model. My back is sore from my bookbag, and i'm really quite hungry. Should have packed a sandwich for progress.

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Surprisingly, i'm finding it terribly dull to liveblog waiting in a really long line. Even if it's not that much different than normal liveblogging. READ: LIVEBLOGGING IS STUPID.

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We're not called 'the House.' We were going to be, but we decided that 'the' was much catchier. It's just that we'd already had the signs printed.

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If you squint or enlarge the picture, you'll see more of the line behind the cars.

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More line.

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Thank god they've been passing out water. It's not hot yet in indiana, but it's a very sunny day. It'd be terribly easy to get dehydrated. Also, there's rumors that the line stretches several blocks down university avenue.

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More from the line.

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In line for tickets to see Barack Obama speak in Muncie on saturday. It's three people deep around the block, not to mention my part, which winds through the parking lot in the back of the building with the Obama office.

23 March 2008

Ooh, swish!

make it work:

As for the second, the implied gender roles don't really work for Kerry and I, but if she wants to dress like that, I'll gladly join her for a dance around the Kitchen of Tomorrow.

Never satisfied

I'm in UR Press, originally uploaded by The Spacebase.

Proudly writing angry letters since 1982.

lolcats funny cat pictures

29 February 2008

How does that feel? Right there?

I wanna be a badass local TV reporter.

Record Companies Keeping the Money From File-Sharing Suits

337/365: The Big Money, originally uploaded by DavidDMuir.

And not giving any to the artists they're 'protecting.'


28 February 2008

Matthew TRISLER has sent you a link to "Leaked LEGO Sets Feature Old School Spaceships, Tentacled Space Skulls" on Boing Boing Gadgets


Matthew TRISLER has sent you a link to "Leaked LEGO Sets Feature Old School Spaceships, Tentacled Space Skulls" on Boing Boing Gadgets.

<a href="http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/02/28/leaked-lego-sets-fea.html">http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/02/28/leaked-lego-sets-fea.html

"SWEET. Legos haven't been as cool since they started putting faces other than smiles on the figures, and cross-promoting with big movie franchises. This seems like a step back in the right direction."

Matthew TRISLER has sent you a link to "UCCTOP Xeno Laptop for Video Editors, People Who Enjoy Knobs" on Boing Boing Gadgets


Matthew TRISLER has sent you a link to "UCCTOP Xeno Laptop for Video Editors, People Who Enjoy Knobs" on Boing Boing Gadgets.

<a href="http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/02/28/ucctop-xeno-laptop-f.html">http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/02/28/ucctop-xeno-laptop-f.html

"I'm a Mac fiend, so this isn't THAT wonderful, but still... Look at the knobs and sliders! It's a thing of clumsy but tangible beauty."

25 February 2008

I'm having a bad day.  So you know.

My neighbors (who hate any noise I make and bang loudly on the wall to show their displeasure) are having work done on their apartment today, which began about an hour before my alarms were set to go off.

Maybe it was just that the way I woke up angried up my blood, but I've been cranky and down on myself and off my game all day.

I have a choice this evening of going to the Writers' Community or going to see NPR's Juan Williams speak.  Ordinarily, this would be a difficult choice.  Today it's easy.  I'm going home and doing some homework, making the most comforting food I can forage from my remaining groceries, and going to bed early.

21 February 2008

I Need a New Plan

Over the last couple weeks, I applied for a position with the Teach for America organization.

I heard back today.  They don't want me.

I'm gonna need a job in Memphis.  Anyone who has an idea what a Creative Writing major can do for a living in that fair city, please let me know.

Turns out the 'blood for oil' thing is true. Again.

Oh, groan.

Seriously.  This needs to stop.  Bush, Cheney, et al. need to put on their big girl panties and just admit it.

Jon Taplin has more information, with decent sources.

19 February 2008

More Self-Promotion, This Time With Moving Pictures

Let's try this again.  I play as William Wolfe.

I have some music on MySpace, and I'm about to start building my own website.  I'll keep updating here about my progress

16 February 2008

Shameless self-promotion: Show on the 24th

Click the image for its animation. I don't know why it doesn't like to work as-is.

When I play music, I'm usually using a name that's not mine. I just feel like it, that's why.

I'm William Wolfe, and I have a show coming up on the 24th. If you're within an hour of Muncie, you should come.

More information here.

14 February 2008

...moi plus

Suffice to say that, despite distance, and its included lack of kisses, not to mention a bad stomach ache that had me out of commission all day, this has been a remarkably good Valentine's day. Kerry, i'm extraordinarily happy to be with you. You can gag me with a wooden spoon now.

12 February 2008

Photo 48

Photo 48, originally uploaded by skeletonkey.

I'm gonna leave the library now. I'm very tired of being here, but I don't want to walk home. And I'm gonna wait for you to call again.

Oh, here's a HUGE freaking surprise.


What type are you? Take the quiz.

Eleanor Rigby: Sonic Illustration of Loneliness

note: I wrote this for a class, at the absolute last minute. Let me know if it sucks, because it probably does. But please note: I probably won't care.

The Lennon/McCartney composition, Eleanor Rigby, is apocryphally credited to just Paul McCartney, and with pretty good reason; there's not a lot there lyrically that would be identifiably Lennon's. It could be argued that instead of being a Lennon/McCartney compostion, "Eleanor Rigby" should really be considered a Paul McCartney-George Martin composition, owing largely to the centrality of Martin's string arrangement for the song.

Martin's arrangement was only ever really given its due in the Beatles' Anthology collection, released in the mid-nineties, wherein the vocals were removed, leaving the doubled string quartet (due to the fact that it was a string quartet recorded over itself, it can't really be called an 'octet') had the original tracks remixed into stereo, allowing the cellos to embrace their throaty hum and quick runs up the scale, the violas to take their quarter-note stabs, and the violins to carry the higher registers.

Martin's arrangement, in stereo, is easily among the richest sounds I've ever heard. The studio reverberations are at the absolutely correct level; they neither overpower nor distract, but they do add a necessary since of urgent distance to the mix, without which, it could not respond so movingly to the lyrics of the song. It's a shame the quartet on the Revolver version is compressed into one mono track, panned dead center.

Whoever remastered Revolver for stereo made some very odd choices. After the introductory chorus, with the choir of McCartneys surrounding the listener, the recording engineer made the odd choice of suddenly panning McCartney's vocal hard right, and doing it right in the middle of the word "Eleanor." The choice is very distracting, and it draws attention away from the song and towards the mix--which should only happen to recording engineers--of which I am not one. Another result of this hard pan is that the verses, panned all hard right (though I doubt they're mixed any quieter than Paul's solo "All the lonely people" at the end of every verse) sound quite a bit quieter than the vocals at any other point on the track, by virtue of coming out of one speaker instead of two.

This creates, I think, an unintended correlation between the mix, rather than the music, and the lyrics. While Eleanor Rigby and Father McKenzie isolate themselves in the church--which grows increasingingly irrelevant to anyone outside (which, in this case, is literally everyone but Rigby and McKenzie)--McCartney's vocal withdraws itself from the focal point of the mix.

Ah! but the universal sentiment, "Where do they all come from," fills the speakers on both sides of the listener, saying "I am the whole point of the song! Listen to me!" (As though the fact that it's the chorus wasn't enough.) But the quick pan to right in the middle of the word "Eleanor" startles the listener into paying close attention to the verses--the specifics which illustrate the general chorus.

For me, however, the most curious fact of this song is that, despite how perfectly the string arrangement locks into the lyrics, there exists a fair number of covers of the song, some of which eschew the strings altogether. I know Ray Charles has a version, which draws nothing but mixed reviews--"It's Ray Charles, so I can't hate it," a friend of mine said, "but... it just doesn't work."

There's a hard rock cover by Vanilla Fudge, too... but my copy of that record is so badly scratched as to render "Eleanor Rigby" unlistenable. But from what I heard, the insane rock organ that fills the record more than makes up for the lack of string parts. It's not a very faithful cover, and that's fine--probably preferable, if they weren't able to score George Martin to record the exact same string quartet playing the exact same way.

Jackie Wilson's soul version is perhaps the most confusing. It has its own string arrangement, and a real, swinging beat... but the orchestration is ill-advisedly busy, and the beat makes it feel less like either "Eleanor Rigby" or almost any Jackie Wilson I've ever heard, and more like a Tom Jones-type smarmy sex jam. I tap my feet with the beat, and I want to drive around in a Mini Cooper wearing an ascot, pointing and winking at every pretty girl... and maybe this works too, I guess. Even a crazy, swingin' cat like Tom Jones, who has panties thrown at him every night, has to feel lonely, too. Right?

The Aretha Franklin cover is, well, just a disappointment. It sounds like the backing band is Booker T. and the MGs, which is totally enjoyable in its own right, The soulful electric piano lines are beautiful, and again, I bounce along with the beat. This is Aretha Franklin, and she can really do hardly any wrong, but, I'm sad to report, here she does. She drops a line or two from each verse, invariably the line I feel is most central to the verse. Perhaps most ill-advisedly, she claims by saying "I'm Eleanor Rigby." Which is is just fine until the last verse about Rigby being buried.

I know Aretha sings soul, and probably believes in an eternal soul (how's that for a baseless claim?), but she doesn't sing the song like a ghost. There's too much vitality and sheer energy.

The main point I would like to make here is that "Eleanor Rigby" is a song, not a poem. The lyrics are poignant, and in the right context, moving, but the right context for these lyrics is, I feel, George Martin's delicate and reserved string arrangement. It provides the perfect setting to make sure these lines do not descend from pathos into bathos. Though it is a valid pursuit to discuss a song's lyrics separate from its music, it can be a faulty pursuit. In the case of "Eleanor Rigby," it feels plain to me that the song loses much of its meaning once lyrics are separated from music.

10 February 2008


It's pretty much up. It just doesn't look quite as it should.

It's coming

I have still to figure out a lot of stuff regarding the site, but a placeholder homepage is up!

06 February 2008

The Hawaii Chair

Watch in awe as Erin Lee negotiates the work-free workout while maintaining composure:

The first-time user testimonial is also amazing.

05 February 2008

This Weekend

Housewarming_002, originally uploaded by brandondillphoto.

I went to a party. I had fun at the party; you probably wouldn't guess by looking.

There's a song by Two Gallants, called "Nothing to You," that just came up on my iPod. I'm liking it. It has a line, "I'm as gay as a choir boy for you."

thump thump thump, that is all.

Some Sort of News

Turns out Muncie made the Make: Blog. Sorta. I mean, we didn't make Make:, but you get the idea.

24 January 2008

I found this on my computer.

I have no idea where I found it. But it's lovely. Sorta. Supposta animate and junk.

21 January 2008

Flip on the TV, we may pick him up on Channel Two.

I cannot pretend to have any clue what inspired this Beware of the Blog post from WFMU, but its insane detail in imagining what DJing for their station would be like--ON ANOTHER PLANET--is a real winning feature.

I admit, Saturn sounded nice, but it's the black hole that won me over.

19 January 2008

An American pineapple, of the kind the Axis finds hard to digest, is

On those photos

The Library of Congress has a Flickr account.  And they've been posting the most kickass photography I've ever seen.  Several thousand in each of two sets (what, nobody's bought them a Pro Account?).  They're beautiful photos.  It seems like they were taken with slide film--I'm not sure how else they'd get focus that sharp with such insanely sharp contrast and beautiful color.  

What's more, those titles, they are (ah!) lovely.

Very writerly in their descriptions.  Except maybe the girl in the glass bubble.  But that's too great a picture to pass up.

Scroll down for more, or check the "LOC Photos" tag.  

Women workers install fixtures and assemblies to a tail fuselage

This girl in a glass house is putting finishing touches on the

[Electric phosphate smelting furnace used in the making of elemental

Crane operator at TVA's Douglas Dam, Tennessee (LOC)

18 January 2008

[Man shovelling ears of dried corn from wagon through feed store

Smoke stacks (LOC)

Woman aircraft worker, Vega Aircraft Corporation, Burbank, Calif. Shown

13 January 2008

Poetry kicks ass, but it kicks mine, too.

Mark Halliday on Mary Ruefle's "Perfect Reader," from his essay, "The Arrogance of Poetry," from The Georgia Review (but I don't know which issue):

"The satisfactions of imagining a lover's embrace, imagining 'fucked-up beauty' in a tree, imagining a man who describes a flower in comically abstract language: such satisfactions may put a swing in one's stride but cannot become the same as having a lover. The summer of imagining will subside into the winter of isolation, and the speaker will return to awareness of her own lack of a spiritual home.

[. . .]

"The poem turned out to be good, so I'm not ungrateful; indeed, my life is enriched by the poem--but now where am I? I'm on the first page of Post Meridian, a book containing more than seventy poems; and one of the many other books around my desk is Ruefle's more recent Among the Musk Ox People. How much can I respond to? What will become of me? When can I have lunch?

"Standing at the beginning of a book, "Perfect Reader" seems a warning: It is beautiful to try to be a perfect reader of poems. And you are fated to try. But your imaginative efforts will be tiring and endless, and they could bring you to a condition of overexposed vulnerability, with newspapers as your only blankets."

Every Christmas, I recieve at least five books of poetry. Every semester, I buy at least five books of poetry for class. I fully intend to read all of them. But there's no way I can adequately expose myself to the inherent meaning of all of those poems.

A poem is so short and yet demands so much scrutiny in order to be properly understood and enjoyed, that each good poem--and I stumble into so many worthwhile, if not necessarily good poems--requires at least an hour to itself. I can't do it. There is no human way to be an adequate reader of poetry.

And yet I try. And I live for the trying.

06 January 2008

Lady Tiger! On the Prowl!

The story beginning as told by the NY Times.

And then taking a hilarious headline (and a pretty good subhead) in the San Diego CityBeat.

I know, I know. Someone died. I should take this seriously. But "Lady Tiger on the Prowl" is a Hall & Oates song waiting to happen. I call Oates.

actually thom yorke looks mostly like an emo clapton who has something stuck perpetually in his eye.

Seriously. Check minutes, um, six on.

quite possibly the most distressing thing I've seen in a long time